The liberating effect of “not giving a fuck”
Have you ever wondered what it would be like not to care quite that much about other people’s opinions of you? If, when making decisions, you didn’t feel like you had to take into account what aunty Frida might think, or your boss, or your neighbour from across the street?
Today I would like to talk about how effective “not giving a fuck” is for improving your quality of life. Of course it works best if you suffer from “people-pleasing syndrome” in the first place.
Basing the decision of which house to buy only on what you need and want, and not on keeping up with the Joneses, meeting your mother-in-law’s expectations or impressing your new girlfriend.
Buying your car based on practical rather than status considerations.
Choosing your work on what gives you satisfaction, what makes you happy, rather than on an income which is then spent solely to console you of your work day-to-day.
Getting dressed the way you like, without pandering to the diktats of a fashion industry only interested in keeping their jobs.
And possibly the most important one: imagine choosing your life partner, not on whether your parents will approve, or whether your friends will be impressed, but on their intrinsic human qualities.
Imagine now making the little decisions in life about what you want, rather than whether anyone else approves… Welcome to “not giving a fuck”!
Life suddenly becomes comparatively simple: no more labyrinth of social norms with matching pitfalls to navigate, no more letting someone’s raised eyebrow change the way you feel about yourself.
But of course, the path to not giving a fuck is not an easy one – all your life, starting in your childhood, you have been taught to conform, meet your parents’ expectations, “do as you are told”.
It takes balls to go against our consumerist society.
It takes balls to say no when everyone expects you to say yes.
Don’t get me wrong, what I am advocating is not some sort of egoistic nirvana of self-indulgence, but rather to stick to your guns even when your opinion or appearance goes against what’s “normal”.
I am suggesting that once you have worked out what you really believe in, what you really want, you go for it, and don’t give a fuck about other people’s judgement.
I bet you will find it liberating.